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Here is my FTC speech that I quit halfway through...
Since Helen probably won't agree to what I am saying to her even though I created an amazing argument and I am certain there is a real chance Penny will beat her in the FTC, here is my epic final speech that will most likely never get to be read by my tribemates (I'm not done obvi but I feel like there is no reason to continue at this rate) :(
Now before I start I would like to state that I know a lot of you guys are mad at me. You don’t think I deserve to be here. If you can give me the chance I would like to explain that that’s simply not the case. Even as someone without numbers the whole game, there is a cool and calculated way to making sure you advance, making sure you’re the last of your tribe standing, and understanding when people will or will not make deals with you.
There are many ways to play Survivor as we all know, and I’m sure if given the chance, we would all love to play offensively. A game like Helen’s where you knew where people’s votes were going and had the luxury of getting to lie to others without damaging your game. I don’t really think people understand the defense game quite as well and that’s what I will tell you about because come merge, my whole game was strictly defense, doing my best to stay off the radar both as a threatening player and as an expendable player.
When you look at the real Survivor game three of the best regarded winners throughout the years have accurately mastered the defensive strategy: Danni Boatwright, Vecepia Towery, and Sandra Diaz Twine (HvV). I believe I have played a game similar to these lovely ladies and I am here to SHOW YOU! <3
Premerge, and I’m sure Asteria on the jury and possibly Ted too can attest to this, I was a completely different player than what you saw at merge. The ~Joanna Persona~ was something I had to adapt when I was out of control which I will address fully later. Anyways on Asteria, I had a tight bond with everyone on that tribe. In fact, I’m confident that at one point or another each and every one of them wrote in their confessional that I was someone they talked to a lot, enjoyed trust, something of that matter. I considered relationships with everyone to be the key to success, but as you can see how the game played out, not everyone felt that way. I did make a few crucial mistakes that I will admit that most likely led to my decreased power come merge:
1. Keeping Ted. Biggest regret in the game. Dan and I were the swing votes and I trusted Christy who was my closest ally in that she knew what she was doing. It was a foolish thing to do because the second he came over to my side, I vowed I would not let him make merge. I put too much trust in my allies and did not go with my gut.
2. Agreeing to Rob’s mutiny plan. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, and that Rob was an emotional and impulsive player. Sure enough he comes back already convinced that Helen and Brian wanted to work with him and urging us to throw the challenge. I knew we were in a real tough spot come merge because I knew Rob would want to work with them when they would most likely just be playing him, and I had to play along. Had I discouraged the mutiny it would have never happened.
3. Solidifying a Final 5. I had close relationships with Shawna, Rob, Christy, and Dan who I wanted to be the eventual final 5. I should have worked harder to make everyone feel like they could trust this group. I should have urged everyone to make close relationships like I had to make it a strong group.
With these crucial mistakes, I knew I was potentially in a bad place. It’s like when you and your significant other use to get along great and then something changes but you don’t want to acknowledge that so you just pretend everything is the same and normal. I knew something wasn’t right but refused to acknowledge it coming into the merge. Despite what Rob said, I knew Helios was tight and I just prayed they wouldn’t find our cracks (which obviously they did).
The merge was very frustrating to me because all my allies were putting their trust in people they shouldn’t or that wasn’t for their best interests. I love you guys, but it was just foolish to me and I felt like I had no room to maneuver because we couldn’t “vote” for certain people who didn’t have our backs whatsoever. Christy swore that Ted was loyal. Right after he was at risk for going home at our tribal? When he had connections with the other tribe? When he never initiated PMs with us? Rob swore Helen/Brian wanted to work with us. When they were the obviously smart players and would just willingly put all the power in our hands? Dan (later) swore that Penny/Erin would just take us to the end. And just “believe” them and give them complete power to dictate everything? This left me no power or no ways to negotiate when everyone was already going their separate ways. I knew the whole split votes was bullshit and wanted to stack the votes on Helen (Rob refused) or Ted (Christy refused) while I didn’t have any power with the loss of Dan anyways. So at final 9 I found my game in shambles, discovered all my allies were way too quick to trust people, and a fast track to the jury.
That’s when I had to switch everything thing up. I knew we were screwed and I had to show myself as someone harmless and nonthreatening. I developed this partier/skyper who really did not give a shit therefore Helios would feel somewhat unopposed when around me. I knew Rob was always going to be a huge target and Christy was showing herself to be a savvy player, and that I could be painted as the third wheel that just floated along. It worked very, very well. I even convinced Rob, my own alliance member that I was done and playing for him/Christy moreso than myself. I became dedicated to this new persona. I acted up in challenges, even throwing them, blew off tribals, and the most important and crucial one, I stopped PMing Helios. This way I was almost guaranteed to be a decoy boot because they wouldn’t feel bad throwing my name out there since I never PMed them, but those who were trying to cut deals and weasel in were the real targets.
In a true defensive player strategy, you have to give up power a lot of power to gain a little. It’s a very tricky and intense strategy because you never really were in power, you just had to trust your techniques of dodging the target. At final nine, per Ted’s requests, Dan was the target. Because he completely left me out of the loop and just decided to give Penny and Erin the power instead of try and create power for me and him, it became in my best interests to agree to Ted’s requests, but not with a little threatening fun.
You know when you’re on the bottom, giving the top a little fear was always fun. Because they had everything to lose and you, nothing. I threatened Ted that night because I knew he was way too invested in this plan. I told him that I haven’t decided to vote out Dan or Rob yet. This created the last minute change of vote for Helen and Brian to reveal that they were in on the plan too. Unfortunately that didn’t wake up Erin/Penny like I had hoped so back to the drawing board.
The next day Rob and Christy were all excited because “we had the majority” and we could split the votes again. I wanted to vomit because I could not believe they thought that anything had changed. When Helen approached me saying that we were going to split the votes again, I knew it was total bullshit and I’m sure she can even attest to this for me because I called her out. But I had to go along with it. I knew the blindside wasn’t going to be me, because everyone already firmly bought the ~Joanna Persona~. So I agreed to split the votes because I was on the bottom, wasn’t going home, and had no other choice. The Ted vote out was 150-200% the only thing in this game I was completely shocked about. I’ll give credit where credit is due on this one because it was absolutely brilliant. But at the same time, my alliance was intact and with the idol in Christy’s back pocket and the number dwindling, I smelled that little bit of power that I was waiting for.
With Helios unable to split the vote and still have the numbers, I knew top 7 was the round to use the idol. Much to my dismay AGAIN Rob and Christy were trying to work with Helios. I was shocked that after three “blindsides” they still thought that was a good idea. I was so frustrated that I finally took a stance and bitched them out with how naïve they were acting. Here is my most epic PM to date (sent to Christy and later, Rob):
“i know you're gonna be pissed at me for saying this but i'm going to go head and say it because i really wanna get it off my chest.
it really frustrates me how you and rob continually think that trying to cut deals with those guys is going to work. they have been manipulating us this whole time, splitting out votes so they know exactly where everyone is going to vote. they are fucking playing circles around us. think about this, if ted wasn't a dumbass and switched his vote to erin and we piggybacked like i said, it would have been a fucking 4v4 tie and ted would have won because he is the best challenge competitor out there. like you have to think AROUND what they are saying. i just don't know how to explain to you guys that we CANNOT seriously work with them. spin fucking lies for the hell of it whatever but agreeing with them on anything WILL NOT WORK. the only panic we have ever costed them was when i threatened ted that i was going to vote against rob and helen and brian had to reveal that they were in on the plan because they were scared i wasn't going to do it. this is our last chance pretty much so why don't we just go to fucking war on them? scare the shit out of them. lie like fucking madmen. make them sweat and second guess themselves?
anyways i know you're probably going to disagree with everything i say and reassure me that it "will work" like you always do and i won't care enough to fight it so it's whatever. also it's my best friends birthday tonight so idek if i will be able to attend.”
Then I finally got the responses that I wanted which were along the lines of “Ok what do you think we should do?” No fights, nothing, finally them agreeing with me. I told Christy it was her idol and that she needs to stick with her gut but I was confident that it wasn’t going to be Rob, and that it was going to be her or me. She finally took what I said to heart and played it for herself and I’m still so proud of the gurl <33 So it was final six and I knew that it would be in our best interest to split 3/3, unfortunately someone STILL decided trusting anyone on Helios was a good idea.
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